Columns

From the courtroom to the emergency room

Recently, I had a week that began with jury duty and ended in a catastrophic car crash. I swear, my headlines write themselves.

Let’s start with the courtroom.

Unlike some, I’ve always been eager to serve on a jury. I own a copy of “Twelve Angry Men,” I ask questions for a living, and my note-taking is level expert. Yet, I’ve never been picked.

Honestly, I wondered if the court system has some kind of media bias.

That changed on Sept. 3. I reported to Spokane County Superior Court with 40-plus fellow residents as required. After watching a couple of videos and listening to information about how to get my whopping $10 per day, I was issued a badge.

Farewell, Cindy Hval – hello Juror No. 6.

After a lunch break long enough for me to rush home and snuggle my new kitten, I returned to the courthouse for voir dire. That’s a fancy term meaning attorneys on both sides of a case question prospective jurors to determine if they can be fair and impartial.

We were given the bare bones of the case and told that a jury trial in a civil case is extremely rare in Washington.

Fascinated, I listened as attorneys from both sides asked pointed questions of prospective jurors.

Then the defendant’s attorney called on me and asked what publications I wrote for and what topics I covered.

When I described this column, the attorney asked, “So, once this case is concluded, should we expect a column about your experience?”

I looked at him and at the judge and shrugged.

“Well, I’m here. This is my life.”

Despite that, I was included in the jury.

When I sat down, the woman seated in front of me, asked, “Did you review my husband’s book?”

Indeed I had.

The trial commenced. It was a big business versus a very big business and the jury’s task involved assessing damages (if any).

As a courtroom drama fan, a few things stood out – mainly the lack of drama. The objection process seemed subdued. No one stood up and yelled “OBJECTION!” No gavels were pounded, and the judge never once called for “order in the court.”

Every time things got tense between the opposing sides, the jury got ushered out. I felt like a kid being sent to her room so the grown-ups could chat.

The jury room was nice and we had private bathrooms to prevent us from accidentally encountering any parties in the lawsuit. We also had snacks that were a bit better than airline snacks.

But there was sitting. A lot of sitting. We were relieved to learn our presence wouldn’t be required in court on Friday.

So that day, I drove to an interview in Otis Orchards. I almost made it.

As I neared my destination, I slowed and switched on my turn indicator. The next thing I knew, there was a terrific smashing sound – dust, gravel and glass flew.

I’d been rear-ended by a semi.

Shakily, I exited Ruby Sue (my Ford Escape) and surveyed the damage. My car was obviously totaled.

A witness saw the accident and pulled over to call 911.

In the adrenalin rush that followed I called my husband, called the couple I was supposed to interview, and answered the state trooper’s questions. I didn’t care to watch him cite the driver.

At the urging of responding firefighters, I let Derek take me to the emergency room. I was bruised and shaken but cleared to go home. It could have been so much worse.

If I’d been at a complete stop.

If I’d been making my left turn.

If the semi had been hauling a load.

It’s been a little over two weeks since the accident. My bruises have faded. The insurance companies are doing what they’re supposed to do. I’m following up with my physician as advised.

But gosh, I miss Ruby Sue. She was the first car that I got just for me. The only one I didn’t have to use to haul kids to school and sporting events.

“We’ll get you a newer and better Ruby Sue,” Derek said. “Cars are replaceable, you aren’t.”

So, I’m choosing gratitude. I’m thankful I’m here for our son’s wedding next week. I’m thankful that soon I’ll be in Ohio visiting our grandkids, and I’m grateful for seven years and lots of miles with my sparkly Ruby Sue.

It turns out she lived up to her model name – Escape.

As the witness stood with me at the accident scene, looking at the wreckage, he said, “I saw how hard he hit you. That little car saved your life.”

On the way to the hospital, I called the courthouse.

Being rear-ended by a semi is one way to get out of jury duty, but I sure don’t recommend it.

All Write, Columns

Apology Accepted?

The crash happened in a split second. One minute my husband was driving down North Monroe Street, and in a flash a sedan darted out in front of him from a side street.

By the time he hit the brakes, he had hit the car, which spun 180 degrees, ending up with its back end in the southbound lane and its front end in the northbound.

Stunned and shaken, he pulled over in a nearby church parking lot. An off-duty fireman stopped to see if he was OK while others checked on the teenage girl and her passenger.

Derek drives an F-150 truck, and it hit the rear passenger door of the small sedan. All of the car’s airbags deployed. Amazingly, no one was injured.

“What were you thinking?” Derek asked the driver.

She said she had seen him signal to change lanes on the busy four-lane section of Monroe and thought he was turning. She thought she had time to make it across the intersection.

She thought wrong on all counts, and her mistake could have had a much higher price than just the inconvenience of damaged vehicles and time spent on insurance paperwork.

In the following days, Derek wavered between anger and relief. Several weeks later when the dust and the insurance had settled and his truck repaired, he received a letter from the girl.

“I’m sincerely sorry for the accident I caused. I’m very grateful you’re OK. This accident made me realize how very short life is – your life could be taken in any minute.”

The note seemed genuine and heartfelt, and whether her mother made her write it or not, the effect on Derek was liberating. He had already moved past anger, but her words allowed him to think more kindly of her.

A sincere apology will do that.

Wouldn’t the world be a better place if that happened more often?

Instead, sorry/not sorry has become a hashtag on Twitter, a popular Demi Lovato song, and a featured phrase in everyday conversation. Sorry/not sorry is what you say when you acknowledge your words or actions may have upset someone, but you really don’t care.

Huckleberries columnist Dave Oliveria refers to insincere mea-culpas as “ap-hollow-gies.”

It’s like when my boys were fighting and someone’s feelings, body, or toy had been hurt, and I’d admonish the offender to tell his brother he was sorry.

“Sorry,” the culprit would mumble.

The word was right, but often the body-language – arms folded, eyes-rolling, shoulders shrugging – revealed the kid was less than repentant.

That kind of apology usually resulted in further consequences. Even so, an “I’m sorry” rendered because a kid doesn’t want his video game privileges revoked, doesn’t get to the heart of the matter.

And speaking of hearts, there are times when even the most genuine mea culpa cannot mend or alleviate the pain of damage done.

Think of the courtroom apologies proffered by people who have killed or maimed someone while driving drunk. Or the relationships broken by betrayal. Or the workplace gossip that results in job loss.

While saying sorry may be the right thing to do, it doesn’t automatically translate into forgiveness.

And sometimes we can be haunted by the apology we never received.

Many years ago, someone close to Derek treated him very badly. Harsh words and untruths were spoken. He waited for an apology or even an acknowledgement of wrongs done.

It never came.

Eventually, Derek chose to forgive this person. It had little to do with the offender and everything to do with my husband’s peace of mind.

Forgiveness is a choice, and so is asking for it.

The letter from the young driver demonstrates what it means to acknowledge harm done and accept responsibility for it.

“I know I’m young and learning. I know that this was my fault, and I take full blame,” she wrote. “This has helped me look at life from a different perspective. I appreciate every moment for what it is. Once again I apologize.”

Apology accepted.