Columns

Books and a Bride

A text I recently sent to my two oldest sons was factually accurate, but a bit eyebrow-raising.

“Your brother just married your brother!”

On July 3, our son Zach officiated at the wedding of our son Sam. I got a bit excited when I texted our older two, who weren’t able to join us in Texas for the festivities.

The ceremony, witnessed by close family and a handful of friends, was beautiful in every way.

Sam grew up in newsprint. He started first grade the same year I began writing Front Porch columns – much of his life documented in column inches. His three older brothers frequently appeared in print, but as the youngest by five years, Sam was around a lot more.

The knowledge that he was our grand finale in the parenting circus imbued many milestone moments with added emotion.

Some marked with sweetness – his first wobbling steps. Some with relief – no more potty training!

However, gratitude is the real reason I’ve documented so many of his milestones. You see, we weren’t sure if he’d get to have them.

Sam was born with a congenital diaphragmatic hernia. A hole had formed in his diaphragm during gestation, allowing his stomach and intestines to move into his chest cavity, crowding his heart and lungs. Our newborn was given a 50/50 chance of survival.

At 3 days old, he underwent surgery to repair the hole in his diaphragm. After a three-week stay in the neonatal intensive care unit at Sacred Heart, we brought him home.

During his final follow-up visit with the surgeon, we discovered that though he’d been born with only one lung, he now had two. It seems he’s been a bit of an overachiever ever since.

In 2018, he graduated from Mt. Spokane High School, and two years later, he received his Bachelor of Arts from EWU, thanks to the Running Start program. He earned his master’s from the university in 2022. Shortly thereafter, he accepted a job in the English Department at Odessa College.

Last fall, a new teacher joined the department, and soon Susan’s name was mentioned in every call home.

“We’re just friends,” he insisted.

That lasted about a month. He proposed on Thanksgiving. See what I mean by overachiever?

While waiting for true love to move from Bakersfield, California, to Texas to find him, he authored two novels. “The Deep Dark Place” was published in February by Cloaked Press and is available on Amazon, at bookstores, and at Spokane County Libraries.

Shortly before the wedding, he learned his second novel, “The Gospel of Dust,” had been accepted by the same publisher.

We’re enormously proud of all of our sons, but over the years, I’ve worried that Sam’s precarious start and precocious nature have made them feel overshadowed.

Then I remember that they’ve witnessed each milestone with me. How they’ve celebrated the youngest one that was almost lost to them, but now irrevocably part of their band of brothers.

I opened “The Deep Dark Place” and re-read the dedication to his three older brothers.

“What a privilege it was to once be boys.”

Sam’s marriage marks a new chapter in a story that continues to bring joy and gratitude in equal measure to all of us.

Columns

Wedding Gown Memories

I felt like a princess on my wedding day.

My white, satin gown billowed around me. Its high collar and scoop neckline trimmed in lace, with a dozen satin-covered buttons down the back, and more along the sleeves. Yards of tulle swirled from the Juliet cap that anchored my veil.

It was perfect for a late March wedding, and even better I found the Jessica McClintock gown at Frederick & Nelson where I worked, so I got to use my employee discount.

If there’s one day in every woman’s life where she feels absolutely beautiful – it’s her wedding day. Alas, like Cinderella, midnight comes for all of us, and our beautiful gowns become memories.

Some women carefully pack away their dresses to save for future generations, some donate them to programs like Angel Gowns, and the more practical among us, sell them.

After I had my third son, I simply couldn’t imagine why that gown was still in my closet. We were always strapped for cash, so I took it to a consignment store and brought home $75 when it sold. The veil I kept. I reasoned that perhaps veils weren’t as trendy as dresses, and maybe I’d have a daughter-in-law who’d want to wear it.

In my previous column, I invited readers to share their wedding gown stories, and share they did.

“I still have my wedding dress from 1990,” said Lyn Mills. “I’m saving it in hopes that my daughter or one of my relatives will want to wear it as is or remake it for their wedding some day.”

Donna Scripture’s two daughters, Joan and Mary, wore the gown she purchased at the Bon Marche in 1956.

“Mary is short, but she wanted to wear it, so my neighbor, Pat, took the whole gown apart, made the alterations and put it back together,” Scripture said.

Beth Viren wrote, “I hand-sewed my wedding dress back in 1974. I was a senior at Whitworth College and was living in a dorm. The pattern was a very complicated Vogue pattern with full skirt and a train, made of crepe backed ivory satin, and had 36 tucks in the front and back of the bodice with fabric covered buttons, sheer fluffy sleeves with satin cuffs.”

When she made a mistake, her grandmother came to the rescue from Seattle and helped her finish the gown.

Viren and her husband recently downsized, and she came across her gown. She called Marcella Davis, owner of Marcella’s Bridal.

“She said that she actually takes old wedding dresses and hangs on to them,” Viren wrote. “She says that whenever she has a customer who comes in looking for their own special dress, and she knows ‘they may need a little extra attention,’ she goes to her stash of dresses. I loved that idea, and she assured me she would find the perfect person to be able to wear my dress again.”

Tamara Dees has a special plan for her gown.

“My wedding gown will be used to line my mother’s coffin. My mother is pleased, and I am honored,” she wrote.

Sandra Zikiye-Jones wore a lace dress that had been made in England.

“It had an attached train of ruffles, and the sleeves were long and pointed over my hands.”

When Eileen Mabee married in 1972, she wore the gown her mother wore in 1937.

“The dress was made by a friend, Julia Tobias, who was just beginning to design clothes in Omaha, Nebraska,” Mabee wrote. “Julia went on to become a sought-after couture designer in Denver and had her own boutique. Her dresses are in Denver fashion museums. I still have the dress, and I’m sure it will stay in the family.”

Barbara Stimers also had an original design.

In 1970, she went bridal shopping with her parents in Toronto.

“All the dresses were so fancy, and my dad thought they were too expensive,” she recalled.

Seeing she couldn’t find what she wanted, the two ladies who owned the shop stepped in. They ask her what she liked and quickly sketched up a design.

The result? An empire waist gown of white and off-white linen with knotted fabric buttons on the back and the sleeve cuffs.

“I borrowed my sister’s long veil and wore daisies in my hair,” Stimers said. “I still have my dress.”

Isabelle Green’s original wedding gown was lost before she could wear it.

“The Spokesman-Review reported a fire at Arthur’s Bridal Store in downtown Spokane in early 1956. I read the headline at my dorm in Pullman on the WSU campus,” she wrote.

Her wedding dress was in the shop and was lost in the fire.

“They allowed me to choose any gown I wanted to replace it, and since my wedding was not until July of 1956, I had plenty of time to recover. To my knowledge not one customer was without a gown on their special day. The store flew in gowns from all over and made sure every wedding went on without delay,” Green said.

Whether we’ve kept them, sold them, or donated them, memories of our wedding gowns don’t dull or fade like the fabric they were made of.

Instead, they remind us of that magical day when we felt like royalty, and happily ever after seemed guaranteed.

More photos at https://www.spokesman.com/stories/2021/jun/10/front-porch-wedding-gown-memories/

Angel Gown update

Peggy Mangiaracina and RoxAnn Walker are still accepting dresses for the Angel Gown program. They take donated wedding dresses and create gowns for stillborn infants or babies who die soon after birth.

If you’d like to donate your gown please email spokaneangelgowns@yahoo.com

War Bonds

Greatest Generation = Greatest Sense of Humor

Betty Driscoll Ratzman low resBetty Driscoll Ratzman

Caught up with this lovely War Bonds bride this afternoon while returning the photoss she’d loaned me for the book.
I told her the publisher is still hoping for a Valentine’s Day release of War Bonds.

She replied, “Well, they better hurry up with that. Dean just told me he never wanted a 90-year-old wife. I told him, ‘Well, I never wanted to be one!'”
They’ve been married 68 years!